Not since camp have I felt this way. I came downstairs after a phone conversation with Derek and two friends who are UT bound were over talking to my sister. We were all talking about school and Kelsey (sister) asked me what games I was going to come to. I started thinking about all the partying that goes on up there and in my mind I thought.. It's not so bad... Partying is no big deal...
But it is supposed to be a big deal. I didn't want to think this way so I went outside and retrieved my Bible from the car. I wanted to read Revelations since I had been meaning to read it anyway, so I can see what all the hype is about Obama and the anti christ. Plus I figured maybe it would scare me enough to make me forget about the partying and the "fun" all together.
Then I realized.. it's Monday. Tomorrow I work and the next day I work. My sister leaves for college Friday night which gives me .. Thursday night with her.. our last night.. as kids.. after that? It will never be like I have ever known it.
So I began to cry a little, a rare occurance. I talked to Derek about how I was feeling. Made me feel a little better.
And Today was the first day of school of my Senior year. I just want to stay strong, live right, and pass the light.
P.S. I need to relearn how to pray. And I won my auctions on Ebay for The Power of Now and A New Earth, both of which may help me find my spiritual self.
......................................................24 minutes later....................................................
Just wanted to add..I tried a Baptist church this Sunday. Whats up with the solo singing? The Band IS so loud I can't hear my thoughts. Baptist church members? Can you hear yours? When a soloist is singing, how is that worship time for me? I can barely hear the words with those drums. And the many different songs that are sung? Can there please be some repetition every once in a while? So maybe I can know the words and actually think about them.
There is a difference between Church Goers and Christians.
Church, where are you?
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Ephesians 5:18
And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;
Romans 14:21
It is good not to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor to do anything whereby thy brother stumbleth.
.. these are scriptures to read when doubting the evils of 'partying', but some justify it with:
1 Tim. 5: 23
23 Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach’s sake and thine often infirmities.
it's just what's in your heart, and what you feel is right is you.
change can be very scary, so it's okay to dwell on it a little. but it's an oppurtunity to start over, to make yourself new and forget all the things you did wrong before. you can set new limits, and dodge new obstacles. everybody has weak spots, but when you start to think..'partying isn't that bad..' think..
Every person will stand before God to be judged (Day of Judgment), “So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God” (Romans 14:12).
..on that day, is your account going to be.. so, God, I lived my life to give you glory. well, for the most part. i decided to have some fun along the way with some people who really couldn't care less about you, and who use your name to make them look better.
we were made strictly to honor God, but sin got in the way.
“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).
alot of people call themselves christians because they believe in God. “You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that – and shudder” (James 2:19). believing isn't what makes somebody a christian. everyone struggles. the difference between a believer and a non-believer is that we know how to say no. we make that effort and those sacrifices to keep our consciences strong, and to say no to sin.
even when we do mess up, we repent. we don't justify our sins with God's grace, we hate our sins because God hates them, and though we don't deserve God's grace, He gives it to us.
Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
—Romans 5:1-2
grace is what saves us. faith is what keeps us going. just have faith that God is really sufficient. he will make up for the chances you turned down to have the kind of fun you know in your heart isn't what God wants for you. he will complete you, filling any void your past life has left, if you let him.
i know i may sound cheesy, but it took me too long to figure all this out, and my heart breaks for those who struggle.
check this website out if you get a change;
http://www.new-testament-christian.com/salvation.html
I just wanted to share with you a little bit of what we talked about at church tonight. We read from Proverbs, about wisdom. I've read your thoughts and I've seen your actions, and I truly think you are wise.
Proverbs 4:19 says, The wicked walk around in darkness and don't even see what makes them stumble.
Always be conscience of wrong- The wrong you commit, the wrong you see, just all of it. Know it from right, and be wise to choose right over it.
To gain wisdom, you must first fear the Lord. You must realize that you need wisdom, and begin to respect the Lord and observe His work in your life. You are responsble with your life to God. You will one day have to account for everything you did, so be aware. You will have to explain why you let sin win.
I know you're busy this year, and I understand that it's stressful, but make your decisions with wisdom and not just a quick mind. Don't let the stress overcome you, because you're stronger than that.
Proverbs 3:5- Trust the Lord with all your heart, and don't depend on your own understanding.
He will take care of you.
all of it. beautiful. I had just checked to see if you happened to send anything else.. and I was thinking.. i may blog about my hectic schedule.. but not right now because im so tired. i was about to log off and then i recieved an email notifying me of your comment. Ive got more to say on stress and quick decisions. it will be soon. thank you.
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