I believe I am removing the word hypocrite from my vocabulary. I have been doing some thinking lately (and some re-reading of my blogs) due to a prank phone call I recieved over Thanksgiving break. When I answered, a group of girls were connected to the other end of the reciever, and I figured I might as well keep quiet and leave the phone on so they could continue to say what they felt was so important to say.
Some of it was funny, but some of it could have had some truth so it (reguarding myself being a hypocrite.. you know.. a "holier than thou status" when they claimed I smoked weed). I'm sorry to let your hopes down, but I do not smoke weed, however, I will agree that I have much room for hypocrisy.
I realize using this word does not allow me to make mistakes without being judged. If I make a public mistake, even if I realize it, someone is bound to pull this blog out and use it against me.
I suppose that is fine, now that I know my lesson, but I hope people will refrain from doing that.
So I have court in the morning, and I did not tell my parents. I realize they could get on my blog and read this, but that will be fine. I did not completely lie, I just said I was not going to school in the morning and I was going on a college visit (because I am to be excused for tomorrow as well). I just know financially (even though I will be paying the court fees) they would be very upset. I would just rather them not deal with more stress than they already have and I personally could do without the stress too. I really do not like lying though. I can not remember the last time I lied to them. I know I would not get in trouble for telling the truth, but they are worried enough about money.
Another thing: timing.
Timing is everything. Taking an action too soon or too late, even by seconds, can change the course of life. But thats how could haves, should haves, and would haves are born. Because every action taken is right on time. It's the reminiscing that does the time travel. But maybe thats what makes life beautiful. The fact that the next breath we take affects the next person or thing. Without that breath, things would be slightly different, and all those "slightly differents" add up to a different world. That breath does exist though. And this is the world we live in. Not knowing the outcome of the next second is the chance we take. And that in itself is beautiful.
A little poetry.. but I am at a point where I am waiting for something. Just waiting. What good is that? If I am always waiting to live, when does the living start? It is almost impossible to cut waiting out of my time budget, but it would be nice to be more productive. Things are how they should be right now. Why should I mull over it being something different because mulling will never change circumstances.
If I could take unnecessary desire out of myself, I would. It causes me some internal problems.
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4 comments:
I use to go to your school. I know you.
I take that back. I know ABOUT you. You're popular. You're pretty. You're funny. You are smart. (top in your class, right?)
And I am so proud to see you taking a stand for Jesus Christ. You are the type of person who was born with leadership skills. Use them for God's kingdom. Just know that you are being watched and that people are going to be ridiculous and call you out on any mistake you make. I face the same persecution where I am.
I was in your shoes. Party girl. Wild thing. And I wanted to bear the name of Jesus all the way through it.
In Revelation, we learn that a "lukewarm" Christian is worse than a cold Christian. Think of it like this-- you use hot water to bathe with, making it useful. You use cold water for a refreshing drink, making it also useful. Lukewarm water is good for nothing.
We can't ride the fence. We must be SOLD OUT to Jesus Christ.
I am praying for you.
i completely agree with anonymous above. Lukewarm is pointless, so take action. But before you take that action, you have to feel motivated. I suppose the action could bring the joy.. it just depends on the action. For instance, when I'm down, then I help someone.. going to the Impact Center or some other volunteer work, I automatically feel better. i don't have to prep myself. But in school, when I want to being my grades up, I have to motivate myself.. otherwise I just go through motions. Da Vinci said Anyone who reaches for the moon will land among the stars.
I understand about the waiting, I feel that too. I feel like I'm waiting for college, waiting for a career, waiting for a family. What if I don't make it that far? What if I just spend the rest of my time 'waiting'? This is our time. Now is our time.
RE.
was that another anonymous or kirby?
-anonymous 1.
that was my anonymous, not me. my anonymous always signs Rest easy, or RE.
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