I've got this smart mom, you see. She "brainwashed" me before kindergarten by opening a book and saying, " Ohhhh... this is so much fun! I love reading!"
And of course, young children are so impressionable especially by parents; I agreed with her and began reading also.
I commend her for doing that for me because by the time I was a preteen I was still reading; I didn't have a problem with it the way the other middleschoolers did.
So this smart mom of mine and I were just talking. It started out with something she read in one of my library books (which I want to read, but she is sort of hogging it haha). We were both discussing views on certain topics, one of mine being a state of absoluteness. This world we all live in is all connected, no ifs and maybes. People have categorized things because to them things are grouped with common other things. My mother says its my "multiple intelligences" that is able to help me put these things together, because I lean towards both my left and my right brains while my sister is right brained, and my brother is more left brained. I'm the middle child with the balanced brain. For example, math and art are connected in a way that when I am drawing I am seeing it from a mathematical point of view using proportions and when I am computing, I look at it from an artistic way as if I'm visually piecing together a puzzle. (Puzzle: the perfectly balanced activity of life involving right and left brains)
Another thing noteworthy is handling emotional situations depends on our ability of self control. If everytime a person heard someone was "talking about them behind their back", if that person would wait twenty-four to forty-eight hours before taking action, the world would be in a lot better condition, that is if every situation was handled in this way. Instead of immediately texting the person who talked about you and attacking them, if you waited, you would most likely come to the conclusion that either that person was right for saying it or was wrong, and instead of handling the situation out of anger, there would be a better thought out plan.
Back to my mom ---> we were simply discussing some of these things, when she let her emotions act their role, and things began to snowball. I began to watch her facial expressions instead of listening to what she was saying and I kept quiet, hoping this snowball of information would end. Her eyebrows stayed elevated and all I could think was, her forehead is going to have severe wrinkles because she never relaxes her face when she is talking.
Her stress levels were up, and we were simply talking. I wanted it to end. She was beginning to talk to herself, and I believe she may need to start her own blog.
This is not the only time I have had these feelings. Sometimes I wonder if while I am thinking about her future wrinkles, am I missing out on vital information. One day things may click for me and I will think "Oh.. my mom said something about that once.. I should have listened."
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
And The Test Results Are In
So a few things I have learned since starting this blog:
1. Friends are not found. They are developed.
By this I mean, I am not going to meet someone I can automatically trust. Thats a given. If I am lucky I will meet someone who is dependable and frienship will progress quickly into a desirable high level. However, most likely It will take careful picking and sifting before I realize there is a friend there. And the trials and times when that friend is needed will help us develop into something beautiful.
2. Emotional intelligence plays a major role in friendship.
You can be the smartest person in the world and not be successful if you are emotionally unable to handle yourself. Read the book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman. I have barely started to read it and can get that much out of the first few pages.
Its hard to find friends when you are stuck in a sea of people who hit an invisible ceiling. They say they have best friends and just keep running into that glass without ever realizing it. The real friendship is not in their eyesight yet, and its quite a shame.
3. Don't be so selfish.
Selfishness is going to rid you of all close friends. If everyone would be compassionate and caring of others instead of themselves, everyone would have a real best friend. Teenagers are the worst at being selfish. I just know it would be best to find a friend who will be careful in choosing between their own needs and mine.
A quick question I have been consumed with lately:
What is it about people that make them OK with being nothing, doing nothing, thinking about nothing, aiming for absolutely nothing. I admit lately I have not been near as productive as the previous Kirby of earlier years, but I acknowledge it and I have been making accommodations to initiate a new circulation of events for my life.
Partying is an activity for us Echo boomers, but when I get right down to it, what is drinking and doing drugs?
Our brains are so complex, our neurons timeless. The great people of the past (the recognized ones anyway, I'm talking Einstein and Franklin)all were commended for their thought processes and intellectual accomplishments. It seemed almost encouraging to one another to seek answers to unsolved natural phenomena. In the twenty-first century, however, we are far from thought searching. Alcohol and drugs hinder the thought processes, literally disconnect the neurons and prevent them from communicating. Whats sick is why we experience this halt on thinking and how we keep abusing it. It snowballs into years of nonproductivity and nonintelligence (Keep in mind that a little social drinking in moderation is most likely not harmful, but binge drinking and habitual drinking could ruin any ones emotional development).
I realize not all people are stuck in this "do nothing" state of mind, but if this is you think about where you are headed for a change, and if this is not you, I commend you for your existence and I'm eager to meet you as an intellectual.
1. Friends are not found. They are developed.
By this I mean, I am not going to meet someone I can automatically trust. Thats a given. If I am lucky I will meet someone who is dependable and frienship will progress quickly into a desirable high level. However, most likely It will take careful picking and sifting before I realize there is a friend there. And the trials and times when that friend is needed will help us develop into something beautiful.
2. Emotional intelligence plays a major role in friendship.
You can be the smartest person in the world and not be successful if you are emotionally unable to handle yourself. Read the book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman. I have barely started to read it and can get that much out of the first few pages.
Its hard to find friends when you are stuck in a sea of people who hit an invisible ceiling. They say they have best friends and just keep running into that glass without ever realizing it. The real friendship is not in their eyesight yet, and its quite a shame.
3. Don't be so selfish.
Selfishness is going to rid you of all close friends. If everyone would be compassionate and caring of others instead of themselves, everyone would have a real best friend. Teenagers are the worst at being selfish. I just know it would be best to find a friend who will be careful in choosing between their own needs and mine.
A quick question I have been consumed with lately:
What is it about people that make them OK with being nothing, doing nothing, thinking about nothing, aiming for absolutely nothing. I admit lately I have not been near as productive as the previous Kirby of earlier years, but I acknowledge it and I have been making accommodations to initiate a new circulation of events for my life.
Partying is an activity for us Echo boomers, but when I get right down to it, what is drinking and doing drugs?
Our brains are so complex, our neurons timeless. The great people of the past (the recognized ones anyway, I'm talking Einstein and Franklin)all were commended for their thought processes and intellectual accomplishments. It seemed almost encouraging to one another to seek answers to unsolved natural phenomena. In the twenty-first century, however, we are far from thought searching. Alcohol and drugs hinder the thought processes, literally disconnect the neurons and prevent them from communicating. Whats sick is why we experience this halt on thinking and how we keep abusing it. It snowballs into years of nonproductivity and nonintelligence (Keep in mind that a little social drinking in moderation is most likely not harmful, but binge drinking and habitual drinking could ruin any ones emotional development).
I realize not all people are stuck in this "do nothing" state of mind, but if this is you think about where you are headed for a change, and if this is not you, I commend you for your existence and I'm eager to meet you as an intellectual.
Fluctuating Results
Reading through my previous blogs, I noticed I am almost having moodswings. I reread a quote in one of those last ones from the boy I met in Florida from Arkansas. I am glad I did too, otherwise I would be fretting about Jeremy.
Rereading it, it helped me see that the different levels of friendships are not permanent; I believe it is possible to learn to perform at a higher level of friendship. I must decide if I wait for Jeremy to pull to a higher level or I can walk. I will most likely wait. I am too good at forgiving.
Another thing (change in pace from pity party friendships): There are certain facts about life that people are famous for discovering. It can even be the most obvious statement in the world that everyone realizes, but these people decide to put it in writing and become the "Founders". Well I believe I will eventually write a college paper on genetics. I am convinced our emotions are connected to our genes. Also, because the alleles for genes are inducible, I believe every organism has the potential to be transformed, if certain genes can just be "turned on". Maybe I am wrong, but from AP Biology it seems as if these statements are possible.
Scientists actually did a study on people by placing them in a room to watch a scary movie. Some reacted by being scared and covering their faces, while others simply stared at the screens almost bored-like. After genetic research, they found that different genes were turned on for different individuals. Therefore, I conclude that emotions are connected to our genetic make-up. Its something that can be concluded by anyone, I just happened to be the one to write it down.
I suppose the reason I think about this is because everyday my outlook on this friend situation I'm having is changing. And if I were to look into my body, I believe I would be able to see different genes being "switched on and off" and different hormones being released to signal my brain which neurons to fire.
Rereading it, it helped me see that the different levels of friendships are not permanent; I believe it is possible to learn to perform at a higher level of friendship. I must decide if I wait for Jeremy to pull to a higher level or I can walk. I will most likely wait. I am too good at forgiving.
Another thing (change in pace from pity party friendships): There are certain facts about life that people are famous for discovering. It can even be the most obvious statement in the world that everyone realizes, but these people decide to put it in writing and become the "Founders". Well I believe I will eventually write a college paper on genetics. I am convinced our emotions are connected to our genes. Also, because the alleles for genes are inducible, I believe every organism has the potential to be transformed, if certain genes can just be "turned on". Maybe I am wrong, but from AP Biology it seems as if these statements are possible.
Scientists actually did a study on people by placing them in a room to watch a scary movie. Some reacted by being scared and covering their faces, while others simply stared at the screens almost bored-like. After genetic research, they found that different genes were turned on for different individuals. Therefore, I conclude that emotions are connected to our genetic make-up. Its something that can be concluded by anyone, I just happened to be the one to write it down.
I suppose the reason I think about this is because everyday my outlook on this friend situation I'm having is changing. And if I were to look into my body, I believe I would be able to see different genes being "switched on and off" and different hormones being released to signal my brain which neurons to fire.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Possible Resuscitation
"truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones-Bob Marley.
worth suffering for."
I saw this quote and I fell in love with Bobby. I suppose seeing it written out like that is helping me organize exactly how I feel. My philosophy ever since that heart-breaking first love relationship has been "do not expect anything out of people. If you dont expect it you wont get let down. And if they happen to pull through for you, you will be just as excited if not more as if you had expected it."
But when you find a friend who seems to stick with you for the most part for years, you tend to start expecting good out of them. So when they let you down repeatedly, you must ask yourself the question of "is it worth suffering for?"
Its a tough question. Suffering hurts.
Last night I went to hang out with some new people. At a new house. Yes the boy who had invited me was extremely intoxicated, but I laughed at him. His friends however were sobering up. We all ended up sitting around and playing the "question game" which is where one person thinks of questions and everyone takes turns elaborating. Everyone was really honest and told things that have been bothering them or explained qualities they look for in a person. It was a nice change of pace.
The group I am used to would never be caught doing this. If I were to say "Hey guys, lets play the question game" they would pause and reply, "What? Lets take more shots!"
This is the difference between productive and unproductive I believe. This new group also inspired me to go to church this morning.
Maybe this is a new start..
Maybe I am being stitched back together...
Friday, June 20, 2008
Friendship Scrapes Not Fixed by Bandaids
Friend:
1.A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2.A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3.A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4.One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement
With these four definitions posted on Dictionary.com I suppose I can somewhat understand why being a friend and what that means is so misconcieved. One of the hardest things to do in life is to find a good friend. The majority of the population could take a look at that sentence and agree, "YEAH! Good friends ARE hard to find!"
But when it comes down to it, this majority ironically ends up being apart of one of my greatest problems in life.
Yes, cliche': teenage girl throwing a pity party because she can't find a "good" friend. Cliche' as it may be, I still believe I am one of the minority who sees friendship in a more serious light. For one I have only been able to depend on one girl as a good friend and that was my sister.. but that is a flop so far.
Cliche' #2: "I can't stand being friends with girls". While I try not to stereotype, I can not seem to find one female in my age range who has the emotional intelligence higher than a ten year old. With all this "girl talk and gossip about the sweet boyfriend and what Caitlin said last week, etc", I simply have no interest contributing or even listening to most girls talk.
And boys? I seem to be able to depend on Jeremy lately. Jeremy is a boy I was best friends with for a year, then dated for a year and a half, then broke up with to be friends again. However, I have noticed a 4 month pattern with him. By that I mean, about every 4 months, right when I get real comfortable with trust, he does something non-friendlike. Its always accidental, but how many times must I endure disappointment before enough is enough.
A friend I met in florida summarized it like this ..
"Well, there are different breeds of friends. The people I would call my true friends, do, always pull through for me, no matter what. The thing about that, I only have one of those friends. I have other friends that are there for me the majority of the time, but they may say things behind my back, or not be there for me in other times. Friendship comes in different levels, and progressing a friendship to the highest level isn't always about how much time you've spent with a person, but what kind of person he or she is and how well you and that person work together. It is one of the things that is hardest to find in this life."
This is something similar to how I view friendship and he is the first to ever put it in a way that I agreed with. Its just too bad that he lives in Arkansas.
My point is I am having severe friend issues. Not people to hang out with, I've got plenty of that, but more of the true friends who would pull through for me no matter what. I'm only asking for one. Thats it.. If thats you give me a call.
1.A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2.A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3.A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4.One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement
With these four definitions posted on Dictionary.com I suppose I can somewhat understand why being a friend and what that means is so misconcieved. One of the hardest things to do in life is to find a good friend. The majority of the population could take a look at that sentence and agree, "YEAH! Good friends ARE hard to find!"
But when it comes down to it, this majority ironically ends up being apart of one of my greatest problems in life.
Yes, cliche': teenage girl throwing a pity party because she can't find a "good" friend. Cliche' as it may be, I still believe I am one of the minority who sees friendship in a more serious light. For one I have only been able to depend on one girl as a good friend and that was my sister.. but that is a flop so far.
Cliche' #2: "I can't stand being friends with girls". While I try not to stereotype, I can not seem to find one female in my age range who has the emotional intelligence higher than a ten year old. With all this "girl talk and gossip about the sweet boyfriend and what Caitlin said last week, etc", I simply have no interest contributing or even listening to most girls talk.
And boys? I seem to be able to depend on Jeremy lately. Jeremy is a boy I was best friends with for a year, then dated for a year and a half, then broke up with to be friends again. However, I have noticed a 4 month pattern with him. By that I mean, about every 4 months, right when I get real comfortable with trust, he does something non-friendlike. Its always accidental, but how many times must I endure disappointment before enough is enough.
A friend I met in florida summarized it like this ..
"Well, there are different breeds of friends. The people I would call my true friends, do, always pull through for me, no matter what. The thing about that, I only have one of those friends. I have other friends that are there for me the majority of the time, but they may say things behind my back, or not be there for me in other times. Friendship comes in different levels, and progressing a friendship to the highest level isn't always about how much time you've spent with a person, but what kind of person he or she is and how well you and that person work together. It is one of the things that is hardest to find in this life."
This is something similar to how I view friendship and he is the first to ever put it in a way that I agreed with. Its just too bad that he lives in Arkansas.
My point is I am having severe friend issues. Not people to hang out with, I've got plenty of that, but more of the true friends who would pull through for me no matter what. I'm only asking for one. Thats it.. If thats you give me a call.
Motivation for Construction
I believe the most appropriate way to begin my blogging career is to first convert motivations for writing to "paper" or key board rather. I feel like my life could have been a sitcom thus far. I could be rich and famous on MTV if they had just found me soon enough.
I think Teenage Open Heart Surgery is an esteemed enough title to label my thoughts and my life to the public. For one I'm 16: prime teenage criteria, and Open Heart Surgery is easy enough to conclude that my feelings are out on a surgeon's table ready for surgery. Surgery is meant to fix and cure, just like this blog is going to organize my emotions and increase my Emotional Intelligence Quotient hopefully.
I also think a perk of this blog is that other teens will drink up what I say and participate in surgery by sharing advice and experiences. Corny I know.. but thats what I'm aiming for.
I think Teenage Open Heart Surgery is an esteemed enough title to label my thoughts and my life to the public. For one I'm 16: prime teenage criteria, and Open Heart Surgery is easy enough to conclude that my feelings are out on a surgeon's table ready for surgery. Surgery is meant to fix and cure, just like this blog is going to organize my emotions and increase my Emotional Intelligence Quotient hopefully.
I also think a perk of this blog is that other teens will drink up what I say and participate in surgery by sharing advice and experiences. Corny I know.. but thats what I'm aiming for.
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